Dreams, They Come a Long Way

"Dreams, they come a long way," Solange famously said on her album, "When I Get Home." And as I get older, the more I understand those lyrics — and not just because I'm a committed fan of the H-Town artist. I've been through experiences that have taught me just how complex dreams, from chasing them to living in them, can actually be, contrary to what I thought in my formative years.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the commonly used term as "a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep, something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality, and a strongly desired goal or purpose." In the case of what constantly informs our thinking and decision-making, the latter definition is most relevant. Whether you're talking about the infamous "American Dream" (which has drastically changed) or in conversation with a trusted friend, dreams are in our everyday focus. Cultural giants like Martin Luther King Jr. fought tirelessly for civil rights to the point of death because they wanted to see equality for our people. My grandparents successfully migrated from Jamaica to the States with hopes of a better life. I started this very blog because I dreamed of becoming a fashion editor. While there's nothing wrong with dreams, our relationship with them is important. And could it be that being so consumed with them can be dangerous?

We're officially in the home stretch of 2025, and if there's one thing that has consumed me this year, it's my dreams. And don't get me wrong, pursuing and living in them has been nothing short of gratifying. I've had many experiences in the past seven months that have made me realize I'm living out my dreams, even ones I didn't know I had. From traveling to Paris and Iceland for the first time and regular work days being filled with luxurious facials and expensive escapades around the city, to working my first Essence Fest, God has been smiling down on me to no end. While I'm grateful for the opportunities that I've received, I've realized that I've allowed what I aspire to dominate my life. In my profession as a fashion and beauty journalist, the work is never-ending, and before I knew it, I was always working. I would work a 9-5, and then pursue my side gigs after I "clocked out." The days became longer, my sleep time barely touched eight hours, and I had to make appointments weeks in advance just to hang out with my best friends. And I didn't realize I had no balance, until one day my brother told me the truth (that I didn't want to, but needed to hear), "You're a workaholic."

Ever since he uttered those words to me, it all started to click. All I did was work. Friends would ask me what I do for hobbies, and I had no real answer. I was barely going out just for fun. I was in church every week, yet exhausted. My community would congratulate me on major moments, and I would give seemingly humble thanks that were really disguised as an obsession over what I want to accomplish next. And of course, the questions started to flood my mind. Why am I so consumed? What void am I trying to fill? Why didn't I take more time to bask in the fruit of my dreams being realized? When would I realize I was making little Naomi proud? And the answer came: I was obsessed with dreaming.

I've quickly realized that my relationship to dreams was extremely unhealthy, and I had to amend my approach before things got worse. I've been through a few traumatic moments that caused me to go after my dreams so hard. I've known what it's like to live from paycheck to paycheck, and I didn't want to do that anymore. Yes, it's good to be hungry, but if you don't have balance, what purpose does seeing your dreams come true actually serve? I had to remind myself that it's okay to dream, but I can't be so enthralled in them that I forget that I'm living in at least one that I used to have.

Solange also followed the aforementioned lyric with "not today," stressing the point that dreams do take time to achieve, and they shouldn't be expected to be fulfilled immediately. Progress is exactly what it is, an overtime process, and dreams require persistence and resilience even when the end goal seems far away. And some part of me wonders if the time some dreams take to manifest causes us to be so fixated on them, beyond the point of healthy passion. We get so caught up in what we're seeking that it interrupts our vision and appreciation for the present, similar to how we want something so badly that we aren't grateful for what is. Dreaming is beautiful, but we shouldn't be losing ourselves in them.

Dreams are also important for setting goals and purpose, but the real fulfillment comes in how we approach them on the way to realization and how we steward them when they come. It's about combining what we see with our minds and faith with the realities of the present, to achieve them in a healthy, balanced way. Maybe it's worth asking ourselves, why do we want these things to happen? What does it cost, and what are we willing to pay? And if the dream we had in our minds doesn't come to fruition in the exact way you planned, will we be satisfied?

After all, many of the dreams we envision for ourselves require power that's beyond human ability — we need God. This reminds me that we were created for a purpose bigger than ourselves, and God allows us to see that what we once didn't in the physical for reasons greater than our gratification. And as we prepare for a new year, maybe it's not only about stewarding our dreams well, but adjusting our vision to God's dream.

"Dreams, they come a long way."

"Call to Me and I will answer you, and tell you [and even show you] great and mighty things, [things which have been confined and hidden], which you do not know and understand and cannot distinguish."

Jeremiah 33:3 {AMP}

Much love and peace,

-Nay.