The Pursuit of Real Luxury

“Ugly people just walking around with all these luxuries,” my brother said to me in a recent, lengthy conversation. No, he wasn’t referring to the physical ugliness of people. He was referencing the internal blemishes that people have inside and are quite comfortable with — sometimes unknowingly, and other times knowingly. And it got me thinking. Most of the things that we [humans] are pursuing are extrinsic. Whether it’s a new house, car, money, a promotion, traveling first class every month, getting married, or starting a family, or even the hottest Louis Vuitton bag right now — you name it, we all want something tangible. And while there’s nothing wrong with these things (I do shop for a living after all), I fear we attribute these mere things as the highest form of luxury in life. But is that all there is?

I’ve been reexamining my “why” for a lot of the things I have done, do, and want to do in my life, and it’s been an interesting journey, to say the least. Last year, I was engrossed in my career at an unhealthy level because I wanted to get over the hurts that transpired in my personal life. I wanted to “focus on me,” not knowing that concept wasn’t limited to investing in the visible parts of me. I had to do inner work, and I’m still doing it. 

And if you look at your life and dissect why you are so determined about at least one thing you’re doing, you’ll find it connects to some kind of fear or deficiency caused by something you experienced. That’s not the most horrible thing, but it isn’t entirely good either. If you’re chasing money because your childhood was marked by poverty, you’ll never be truly satisfied. Money grants you many things, including half of the luxuries mentioned above. The Bible itself says money answereth all things. Yet it also warns that currency can’t buy everything, like your peace, love, or sanity. And it’s only when you decide to face your trauma head-on and be completely honest with yourself that healing can begin. 

I’ve had the privilege of indulging in some of these lavish things, and while they’re great, they’re just “things.” They can spark happiness, which is only circumstantial. You’re happy because you got a raise, or even because the sun is shining. What about pursuing real luxury? Luxury that doesn’t fade, can’t be replaced, or taken away. Luxury that allows you to experience life from a fearless mindset. Luxury that lasts, and is free. 

What do I mean? God, love, joy (not happiness), peace, health, and fulfillment. Things that aren’t materialistic. Things that can’t be acquired. Things that you can see only with open eyes. Things that we label mundane. The underrated blessings: the ability to give, the ability to dream, the ability to create, the ability to wake up every day, the ability to simply be. There’s someone somewhere who once was, and is no longer — yet you are. 

In our pursuit of a luxurious life, maybe it starts with realizing it isn’t a pursuit. Maybe it’s a choice. Making decisions daily, from the conversations we have to whom we surround ourselves with, to enjoy what’s freely given. And making decisions to foster inner luxury, whether that’s booking that therapy appointment, putting yourself on a detox, or forgiving that individual you’ve maliced for years, and letting go. 

In his famous “I Have a Dream” speech, Martin Luther King Jr. referenced “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” from the Declaration of Independence to emphasize that Black people, too, are rightful heirs to America’s promise—despite being systematically denied it. Some of us are still waiting to see these ideals fully realized, while others have attained them, yet a void remains. Could it be that we’ve tried to use these promises to pacify the ugliness we’ve buried for so long? We desire beauty and luxury, yet perhaps the truest measure of fulfillment lies in the abundance we cultivate within—and what will matter in the end. 

"²⁴ A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, ²⁵ for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? ²⁶ To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

Ecclesiastes 2:24-26 {NIV}

Much love and peace,

Nay.