Is Pressure Good For You?

If there’s one thing Q1 has shown me, it’s the strangely intricate beauty of pressure. Even writing that feels surreal, considering I’ve always avoided it. Growing up, my dad spoiled me, so I got used to having things go my way—pressure, of course, does the exact opposite. Because of that, I used to resent it whenever it showed up in work, church, my social life, or anywhere else. To me, happiness came from getting what I wanted. 

But what if that’s not the whole truth? What if a little pressure is actually necessary to find that happiness, or even peace? I probably would’ve called that idea crazy before—but now, I’m not so sure.

Though pressure is often associated with stress, it’s also defined as “the application of force to something by something else in direct contact with it.” In short, sometimes, you might have to encounter a bit of opposition to get something great. Olives go through three stages before releasing oil we love to indulge in — shaking, beating, and pressing. A butterfly forms only after the caterpillar goes through metamorphosis, which includes shedding its skin four to five times. And even a mother endures hours (or sometimes even a few days) of labor before giving birth to a beautiful baby.

We can apply this same concept to the experiences we face in life. Whether it’s a layoff, breakup, or some other unexpected circumstance, it’s important to find the lesson. As a girl who’s in touch with her emotions, I say yes, feel all the feels. But at some point, you have to dry your tears and get up. Soon enough, you’ll replace the “why is this happening to me” thoughts with “what can I learn from this” thoughts. 

I remember when the contract for my first media job ended in 2023, and I was sure I would land something full-time right away. After all, I was interviewing for a position I was well-qualified for. I was confident and felt like that girl. Little did I know that another candidate would get the position, and after a month-long process, I would have to pivot and figure out what was next. Now this case isn’t exactly rare, but with as much faith as I had in God and myself, I was completely shocked I didn’t get it. If you’ve ever been so sure that something was yours, you can feel me. It was then I learned that some of the things we so desperately want aren’t necessarily what God has in the lineup for us at the time we want them. It was hard at first, but I had to be okay with this truth and get on His timing. 

It would be two years of freelancing as a fashion and beauty writer before I would be hired full-time again, ironically, at the same company. But it was during those years that I became more humble, learned patience, and even landed some of the biggest opportunities of my life — from speaking on a panel at New York Fashion Week to penning my first A-list interview with Teyana Taylor. I was so scared to be “on my own,” yet had no idea of the blessings that were waiting for me. Even more, I was reminded that I wasn’t on “my own.” God was/is my boss, and that’s all I needed, and still need. 

Had I not gone through that season of pressure, I wouldn’t just be the writer or editor I am today, but the woman. God showed me that success without character is nothing. It was one of the most uncomfortable times of my life, but I’m better because of it. 

I’ve been feeling like writing about this for a while, but it feels even more significant to publish it at the start of Holy Week. If you celebrate it like me, you’d know that it commemorates Jesus’s triumphal entrance into Jerusalem, surrounded by people praising Him. And these were the same people who would crucify Him days later. Can you imagine the pressure? The weight of mankind on one Man — proof that pressure comes before purpose. 

We often long for what is good, but shy away from the pressure that sometimes shapes those good times. And yet, as Holy Week reveals, it is precisely that pressure that gives way to something greater.

“Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.”

James 1:2-4 {AMP}

Much love and peace,

-Nay.